2024.06,08
I hate feeling motivated to do art just to have it all crumble. maybe i shouldve picked a better career path. i shouldve kept art as a hobby and stopped daydreaming of being a animator and webcomic author one day. sorry for not updating the main page in awhile, school is a pain.
2024.05.10
my mom is starting to act like my interests are childish. but shes been supportive of it. like you'd buy me voicaoid merch when i dont ask. but when i get closer to becoming 18 and ask for the kaito ita bag. now its suddenly a problem? she even started looking at me weird when cuz i was still into pokemon... but she was the one that got my into pokemon when i was a child...
2024.05.03
i have an art assignment due today, its an animation and now i cant get myself to finish it. because i hate my art so much, and i just cant seem to draw right anymore... why is this happening?
2024.05.02
Tbh i feel like giving up with art sometimes. I just cant get myself to like or enjoy it nowadays, and yes i have been taking breaks. But i dont see them helping me. im not sure why i feel this way, it sucks. ive been trying other things like coding and now trying to learn UTAU. but it doesnt help when i go back to drawing. maybe i just feel unsatisfied with my art? maybe its social media? i do catch myself being disappointed when my art doesnt get alot of likes. mostly on artfol, which also sucks but the app is pretty small so i shouldnt be surpised. it is upsetting when i work hard on something and it barely get any likes (which im usually not used to). but what can you do? nothing ig. at least its a bit better on tumblr. maybe i should go on an art hiatus or something?
i guess ill mention other stuff. like i said ive been trying out UTAU. its been a bit of a struggle lol, i feel a bit dumb for trying out Ruko first instead of someone easier but whatever. i might try to make a cover (itll suck so i wont put it anywhere... maybe) of Literacy by Wotaku. its a neat song. actually that reminds me... older vocaloid fans are kinda confusing to me sometimes. i mean i understand the disappointment for the mikuexpo setlist (i mean i was pretty disappointed too) but... it wont kill you to listen to some new producers and songs. id see people say that the fandom is dying but at the same time they dont put any effort in trying to keep it up. mind you i dont think the fandom is dying... i mean look at what prsk did lol, yeah i also dont like the prsk fandom but the game is pretty neat, and it gives us more vocaloid fans so yayyyy :-D. so idk, listen to new songs pleaseeeeeeeee you're missing out!
2024.04.24 >
The first entry is just a test :-). I'll be using this for relgular life stuff + possibly some mental health stuff + random ranting and raving about my current hyperfixations. Enjoy the random PPQ Kaito.